So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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