no, he came in my armpit
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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