Please, let me fuck your mom
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
then he tried to convert me to islam
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize