Porn is love you can see.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
