I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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