Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
