She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
