is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
