Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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