we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
