this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
