Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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