Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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