Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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