So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
