Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
