Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
