Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
