Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
