Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
