I can't breathe out the right side of my face
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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