Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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