This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
And then the night went full on bisexual.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize