Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
There r osticjed everywhere
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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