he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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