He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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