i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
