Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
