My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
