hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
