I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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