i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so let's talk penis.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just blew my weed a kiss
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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