we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
