when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
