just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
