my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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