is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
