I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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