what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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