omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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