I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
