Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I've blown a few things in my day
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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