babies were throwing up all over the place
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
