so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
