We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
