until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
