woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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