I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
id be glad to
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
