drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
