Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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