tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
