Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
