Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
