Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
