I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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