I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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