That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
