K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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