i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
40s are totally the cure
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
