I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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