The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
