Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
