It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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