Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
