i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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