My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
