What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
